Saturday, September 27, 2008


Annexe Nasi Kandar, Central Market:

"Jangan bagi aku hilang sabar! Aku tangkap semua bebudak ni karang!Balik! Sini tak boleh!" yelled an unmannered angry police officer to the negotiator of a group of harmless looking youngsters who were only carrying lit lanterns, not bombs. They were asked to leave. Of course they dispersed.

It was suppose to be a peaceful candlelight vigil in remembrance of the ISA detainees.

Moments later, hundreds and hundreds of people jammed up the road outside Puduraya, causing massive traffic jams to say NO TO ISA. And yup, i was there among them for every bloody reason that has got to do with human rights.

And we were the angry young pigs?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Owh.. look at these sexy and 'no f**k attitude' cats. They are celebrating their fear. Dont you envy them? Well, i do. Even with my hairless slim figure, i wouldnt dare to celebrate my body in a bikini suit at my backyard. Let alone having fur and 4 sets of bra! And a long tail swinging out from a skinny and skimpy polka-dot panty! So, hurray and a standing ovation for these brave creatures. They have overcome their fear and therefore their existency in this picture is undeniable. Of course, in the history of the survival of a feotus, only the strong remains alive. Either the fear or the fearful one.

And look at us. Always frowning and worried about necessary and unnecessary fear. We are never here nor there because we are always running here and there to save ourselves from the claws of fear. We never fight. We are so fearful. And because of our running, we became the lost one. We dont exist. We became illusion. And because we dont exist, there is no need for anyone or anything to take care of our needs. And we lost even more.

U see, existency is not such a big word that one need such a thick dictionary to understand what it means. It is just a word of an organic concept that can always be changed to the word 'won' or 'succeed' or 'nah! rasakan!' or 'padan muka kau' or even 'Alhamdulillah'. Depending on what kind of war you are involved, all you need is to pick the most melodious word that comes to mind at that very moment of success.

And yes, of course in this war between the fear and the fearful one, the one with the brightest tactics will always win. Now, what do you need to achieve such tactics? Easy. A piece of a healthy thinking brain that is able to change its mind mapping according to any rising situations.

For example, from 'i think therefore i am right' or 'i think therefore i am/i exist' you can always change to 'i think therefore i rebel'. Or perhaps 'i think therefore i have fun'. Or 'i think therefore go to hell with you'. Or 'i think therefore i whatever whatever whatever'. As long as you are using your brain, it'll be politically correct.

U see, all these jargons do not in any way, say any importance in that person that you fear of. It is always about you. So really, all you need to exist is a healthy thinking brain and an appropriate action that comes after that( that those people up there always miss intepreted it as 'rebel', but it is really just an action of a 'need').

So if it is that easy, why does it always slip off from our mind ? My guess is, we actually let fear or to be more exact, the source of our fear enveloped us with their claws, poking our eyes therefore blinding us from seeing the real issue. All we see is them and not us. And in no time, we are all succumbed into their game, leaving our own game in abandon. And we are lost again.

So, let's say that we are 'the people'. And our opponent is 'the big boring guys up there'. And we need them to actually realised that we do really exist and they have the responsibility toward the existing us. But at that time, 'the big boring guys up there' are busy fighting in their game of 'a chair and a nametag' and they dont care about us to the point of harassing our rights by building up all sorts of fear in us by implementing all sorts of rubbishy laws. What shall we do?

Do we resort to their laws and became frightened and lost our ability to fight for our rights? Or do we celebrate our fear by standing up to our rights in a war tactic consisting of a healthy thinking brain, an organic mind mapping and an appropriate action for that?

I only have one thing to say. Dont worry about being labeled 'rebel'. It is always their escapism, finding a label to be seen they are true!

So, let's exposed ourselves to the bright sunshine, people!

Sunday, September 14, 2008


After hearing and experiencing a series of believable and unbelievale tales of our so called freedom of speech, i finally came to the conclusion that what they wanted us to do is to really stop talking. Or not to think aloud.

I mean, it's not that i was so dumb that i didnt know about it or i was so blind to realise it from the very beginning. I kind of.. erm.. u know, knew it all along.

U see, the many schools that i attended to achieve such understanding towards life in a country under certain government has got a lot to do with my kind of understanding right now. I mean, in those classrooms i was taught fiercely that i wont get a slap from a teacher if i just shut up. i was also taught that being silent is a way of a respectful life. U know, the " seekor ayam bertelur riuh sekampung" kind is a big no no.

And being a part of a 50 pupil classroom, of course you wont dare to walk across the line, let alone asking why such dumb law is being implemented. U know, questions like, was God that stupid, giving us such beautiful but useless lips and tounge and voice. Or was that teacher as powerful as God in forbiding us to use our own voice. Or even, was that teacher a God?

And of course, apart from being afraid of being humiliated by getting a slap or a canning infront of the whole classroom, we also were very afraid of being rejected by friends. U know, in those days who wants to befriended a lonely vocal who always got himself into trouble. One would rather be closed to a famous brainless-princess wanna be-girl who doesnt understand the fact that a two plus two and two times two is the same thing but knows how much a girly dress and a bottle of mascara cost.

And it will be even worse if you were enrolled in a "sekolah agama". They literally used God in every single thing they do. Like in a human needs and rights rejection. U know,like preventing a young boy student from seeing his girlfriend, in the name of God. And after a while the high testerone driven boy launch an attack into another high testerone driven boy's ass. And after that it became hearty-farty. And then love. And then commitment. And then sex implants. And so on.. And they'll go ( the teachers, i mean), God knows you are screwing assess therefore you cant lie. If you really dont screw asses, you've got to do a swearing also in the name of God. If you do, the 'laknat' will fall on you, also from God. I mean, i dont have anything against God's power but I pity God for all these human-nonsense- bad drama He has to face every single moment.

U see, i dont really understand. I have a teenage daughter. I'd rather have my daughter telling me every single thing that she's doing or had been done or thought of doing. It is easier to tame her puberty-adolescent-crazy thinking and doing rather than receiving her back home with a big belly of an irresponsible idiot's baby or an arm full of drugs injection marks or anything worse that you can and cant think of. In order to have that unrejected mother-daughter-friend relationship, shutting her up vocally is far from being practiced ever since she was born. I admit that i do got headache and temperament at times but it worth. I know how to deal with her because i know what she is thinking of. Easy.

But on the other hand, I kind of realise how powerful a silence can be. U know, for example if my mouth is gagged, i'll definitely be restless and my brain will immediately start working to its fullest volume and tells my body to start moving energetically. That means, the more my mouth is shut, the more i rebel. Rebellion comes from restlessness, a friend of mine said. So do i need to say more if you are oppressed and surpressed vocally? Let them shut our mouth. It's a blessing in disguise. Now we can think and do things silently. They wont know and they dont care.

Anyway, time have proved that you can get away with anything, even a murder just by being silence!

And for the cat up there in the attached photo, she fears no rejection. She's free to pursue her dream. And i think i'll join her in a little while.